The Anti-Wedding Playlist

When Amy and I were in Party City a few weeks ago being overwhelmed by the wedding aisle, we came across a CD of wedding songs, mostly sappy love songs. There was one really bad choice on the CD though–Extreme’s “More Than Words.” If you were alive in the 90′s, you probably know this song–sad guitar, mournful singer harmonizing with mournful backup singer, hints of power-balladism that never quite come through. Here’s the first verse(?):

Saying “I love you”
is not the words I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you
not to say it but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
‘Cause I’d already know.

Not exactly the sentiment you want to hear at a reception, right?

So I decided to make my own CD’s worth of songs you really don’t want played at the reception. Feel free to add selections of your own in the comments.

1. Golddigger–Kanye West
2. Thank Heaven for Little Girls–Maurice Chevalier
3. Billie Jean–Michael Jackson
4. I Will Survive–Gloria Gaynor or Cake (I prefer the latter)
5. Leaving on a Jet Plane–John Denver
6. I’m Not a Player–Big Punisher
7. Me and Mr. Jones/Fuck Me Pumps–Amy Winehouse
8. Willow Garden–traditional, but I like the version by Big Smith
9. I Heard It Through the Grapevine–Marvin Gaye’s version in particular
10. Hey Hey What Can I Do–Led Zeppelin
11. Every Breath You Take–The Police
12. Divorce Song–Liz Phair
13. Bad Romance–Lady Gaga
14. Stand By Your Man–Tammy Wynette

I could do this all day, I think.