The prompt for today is to write a poem with the phrase “According to” in the title. One of my favorite terms is “according to studies” because it has the air of authority while being so vague as to have no meaning at all–perhaps it even offers a negative measure of meaning because of that claim of authority.
So when I started this poem, I decided to play with that notion. Most of what I included in here–the claims about crosswords and multitasking, for example–are actually from studies about brain science, and fairly recent ones. But then the poem just veers off into distraction, which is supposed to illustrate how a lack of context can make even accurate information meaningless.
According to studies
I will die
I may lose my mind first
I may have a genetic marker for obesity which can make it difficult to maintain a healthy weight which can lead to sleep apnea or diabetes or high blood pressure all of which can cause deprivation of oxygen to the brain which can lead to early onset of senility in many cases
I will continue to diet and exercise
I may be susceptible to Alzheimer’s disease since it apparently runs on my father’s side of the family
I will continue to do crossword puzzles since keeping the mind sharp is one way of reducing the effects of plaques and tangles
I may become less effective as a thinker because of the effects of information overload and too many distractions multitasking which no one really does anyway though we think we do and we become frustrated and lose our ability to concentrate and remember what we were doing just moments before and did I take my Vitamin B today 11 new tweets who’s online is the mail here the damn ice cream truck is back I’m going to check the mail
I will take a walk in the park this afternoon and enjoy the breeze and the hawks and the ballers and the conversation and burning the calories from the biscuits and gravy I had for breakfast and the lemon cream cake I had for lunch
I will look closely at any scientific breakthrough which involves downloading my brain into a cyborg body at some future point because that would be amazing
I will die some day but I am interested in whatever can put that day off for as long as possible
I do not want to go mad first but if I do, I would like it to happen while my consciousness is housed inside a cyborg body
I do not know if the crossword puzzles are helping much anymore
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