Brian Spears

Poet, Editor, Teacher, Blogger.

My Mom’s on Facebook

I don’t expect she’ll friend-request me, since we haven’t talked in years for reasons I’ve gone into before here, but I have to admit I’m feeling torn by it. On the one hand, I feel the rejection all over again, even stronger than I imagined I would. The messed up thing is that I haven’t really been re-rejected yet, since I haven’t sent a friend request for her to decline–I can’t bring myself to take the chance. I guess I’m preempting her rejection by assuming what she’ll do, or by forcing her to make the first move.

I think I wound myself in a circle there.

But if I may synthesize some happiness out of this mess–and my brain’s working like the food replicators on Star Trek for this transformation–at least now I’ll be able to keep some track of what’s happening in her life, and by extension, my dad’s as well. I haven’t been able to do that for years, and my parents are not only getting up there in age, but my dad had some fairly serious health problems last time I heard anything. I still don’t know his condition, but at least there’s a chance I can find out now, when there was almost nothing before.

There’s one more upside. One of the first people to become Facebook friends with my mom was my daughter, which means that at least that connection is being reformed. Perhaps some good will come out of that.


May 30, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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