Brian Spears

Poet, Editor, Teacher, Blogger.

Naked Bicycling

One of my Facebook friends “liked” this article from NBC Miami which mentions a naked bike ride to “protest BP.” This brings together a number of things I approve of–public nudity, protesting an oil company, and bicycle riding. But I don’t know how I feel about the combination of these things. This feels to me like the whole will be less than the sum of its parts.

Be warned: there’s a high probablility of TMI ahead.

I must admit that most of my worry is over physical discomfort. Sunburn in delicate areas is primary, and given the surface area involved in my case, there’s a very good chance some areas wouldn’t get quality coverage. Plus, there’s the delicate issue of asking someone to help with those hard to reach areas. If Amy’s not there, it’s not happening.

But assuming that wasn’t an issue, there’s the whole matter of, ahem, positioning oneself on the bike seat. There are two issues here, actually. One has to do with the potential for squashing delicate bits; the other has to do with the heat potential of a black vinyl-esque seat. This is Miami in July, after all. That seat will become a skillet in a matter of moments.

I’ve seen photos of these sorts of things before, and I’ve never figured out the physics for either men or women. It just looks painful to ride nude, even if you’re going to stand and pedal. I don’t see how this could end anything but badly were I to take part in it.

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June 10, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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